Mack Callahan: In Topeka, You Can’t Return a Rotisserie Chicken at Sam’s Club in 70 Minutes — But Apparently You Can Process a Felony Arrest
TOPEKA — In a town where it can take longer to get through the drive-thru at Taco Bell on Wanamaker than it does to process a criminal defendant, one man reminded us this week just how efficient our system can be.
Meet Zachary Ryan Nelson, 38.
Nelson was booked into the Shawnee County Department of Corrections Tuesday afternoon at 4:35 p.m.
By 5:45 p.m., he was already back out the door.
That’s right — about 70 minutes.
For comparison, that’s roughly the same amount of time it takes to wander through Sam’s Club, eat three free samples, argue about whether you really need a 40-pack of paper towels, and finally make it back to the parking lot.
Nelson, however, didn’t appear to be shopping.
According to booking records, he was arrested on a warrant connected to a laundry list of charges including:
- Aggravated endangering a child — exposing a child to meth chemicals
- Battery causing bodily harm
- Interference with law enforcement
- Criminal carry of a weapon
- Possession of drug paraphernalia
In other words, the kind of charges that make most parents clutch their coffee cup a little tighter.
But not to worry — the system apparently works quickly.
Each count carried a $5,000 OR bond, meaning Nelson was able to walk free almost as fast as he walked in.
Now to be clear, these charges stem from an earlier case, not something that happened Tuesday. But the optics are hard to ignore.
Cooking meth around children?
Battery?
Weapons?
No problem.
Just a quick stop downtown — barely longer than a Costco hot dog run — and you’re back home before dinner.
Topeka residents have grown accustomed to the city’s revolving-door justice system, but even by local standards, this one moves at NASCAR speed.
And somewhere out there tonight, a Shawnee County resident is still standing in line at Walmart — wondering how someone accused of running a meth lab around kids can complete the criminal justice process faster than they can buy laundry detergent.
Welcome to Topeka.
Where sometimes justice moves faster than the self-checkout line.
— Mack Callahan
