By Mack Callahan
This Is Topeka — Opinion
There’s a new kind of church revival coming to Topeka this month, and no, it’s not about saving souls. It’s about saving lives — from the people sitting right next to you.
The U.S. Concealed Carry Association (USCCA) is hosting a Church Safety Training on October 27th, inviting local parishioners to learn how to “protect your church and fellow worshippers.” Because apparently, when Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” he meant after checking your sight alignment and muzzle discipline.
Let’s just stop and think about this for a second. Do we really want every church member packing heat during morning prayer? I’ve met some of these folks — the same ones who can’t parallel park without divine intervention — and now they’re supposed to handle live firearms in a crowded sanctuary? Lord, give me strength.
Imagine it now: Brother Dan, who thinks the women’s Bible study is his personal mission field, now patrolling the narthex with a Glock and an AR slung over his shoulder. Sister Patty, who once pepper-sprayed her reflection at Dillons, is now your designated usher of security. What could possibly go wrong?
They say it’s about being ready for “religious threats.” I’d argue the greatest threat to churches is religious threats — as in, armed zealots who already think God speaks directly through their trigger finger. But apparently, all we need to do is train them better.
I get it — the world’s a scary place. There have been tragic shootings in houses of worship, and nobody wants to be defenseless. But somewhere between “love thy neighbor” and “lock and load,” we might have missed the point.
Because nothing says faith in God like strapping up for Sunday service. I guess the new commandment is:
“Thou shalt not kill… unless thou hast completed the USCCA certification course.”
Disclaimer:
The views expressed by Mack Callahan are his own and do not necessarily reflect the views of This Is Topeka or its editorial staff.
