By Mack Callahan
ThisIsTopeka.com
Well, folks, I hope the coffee’s hot and your doors are locked, because it looks like Topeka’s finest had themselves a field day. Or night. Or some unholy combination of both.
According to the latest booking report, the Shawnee County Adult Detention Center looked more like the checkout line at Costco during a toilet paper shortage. Twenty-nine people were booked between Thursday and Friday morning. That’s right—twenty-nine. Enough for a slow-pitch softball league and a bench-clearing brawl.
Between the Topeka Police Department, the Shawnee County Sheriff’s Office, and a few guest appearances by the Kansas Highway Patrol, the law enforcement agencies in our fair capital turned the town into a real-life episode of COPS: Eastern Kansas Edition.
And this wasn’t just your average collection of busted tail lights and expired tags—though there was plenty of that too. We’re talking:
- Aggravated battery,
- Domestic violence,
- Felony-level theft,
- Drug charges that read like a Walgreens inventory list,
- And a couple of cases so messy, the booking sheet just said “No Bond” and called it a day.
One tag team duo even got rung up for aggravated endangering a child and interfering with law enforcement—a combination that makes you wonder what kind of playdate that was supposed to be.
Now don’t get me wrong, we all want safe streets and clean neighborhoods, but when nearly 30 people get picked up in 24 hours, it starts to raise a few questions. Like: is this a crime surge? Is it the full moon? Or are we just running a revolving door with county court paperwork and a half-charged ankle monitor?
Hard to say.
But for now, we tip our hats to the jail staff pulling double shifts, the defense attorneys who just got a fresh batch of clients, and the bail bondsmen printing money like it’s Monopoly night.
And to the rest of us—maybe stay in this weekend. Looks like the streets are crowded enough.
