Last night, in what can only be described as a uniquely Topeka love story, a man called police to report his vehicle stolen from the 3100 block of SE Adams. But like every classic romance, this one had a few twists—and pink hair.
According to the gentleman (and we use that term loosely), the evening began innocently enough: he met a white-haired—sorry, pink-haired—woman at the cabaret and graciously offered her a ride home. But this story wasn’t destined for fairy tale status.
After pulling into her driveway, our hero did what any romantic would: he walked her to the door. Chivalry isn’t dead, folks—it just occasionally makes really bad decisions. Mid-stride, she gasped, “Oh no! I left something in the car!”
In a heartwarming display of trust—or complete lack of foresight—he handed her the keys and watched as she climbed into the driver’s seat. Spoiler alert: She didn’t find whatever she was looking for, but she did find the gas pedal.
Witnesses report the car sped off, leaving our hero standing at the door like a bad knock-knock joke.
Local commentators were quick to weigh in:
- Robert: “Soooo…he left his keys in his car and left it running?”
- Egypt: “Such a Topeka love story.”
- Amy: “Topeka’s edition of How I Met Your Mother.“
While her pink hair has earned her the nickname the Pink Hair Pirate, one commenter astutely pointed out: “Could be any color hair now.”
The man—whose evening went from Cabaret to Gone in 60 Seconds—remains hopeful police will recover his vehicle. In the meantime, we’re left to ponder his parting words: “Boi, if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.”
As of now, the pink-haired Bonnie remains at large. Topeka PD has advised all gentlemen to keep their keys (and their hearts) close.
