Dear Mama J,
I’m 72 and I’ve been married to the same man for 45 years. As we’ve aged, we’ve become “individuals” again, rather than a “couple”. Our “fights” are over stupid stuff such as taking clothes from the dryer when done. Emptying the lint screen after each load. Like I said…stupid stuff. I’ve always been the extrovert to his introvert. I’ve always been the neat freak to his slobbish self. Why do I expect him to change? Any suggestions on rejoicing that I’ve been married to the same man for 45 years? And…he loves me.
Lost in the lint trap
Dear Lost in the Lint Trap
I am so happy you are still in love with him. The laundry and lint traps conflicts are silly, but what is it telling you two? I’m in a mixed marriage also. I’m an extro and he’s an intro. It can be difficult at times. I read up on reigniting long marriages. These tips may sound goofy, but…reigniting doesn’t have to be complicated. It just feels nice to have something in common which can be energizing.
Here are a few ideas:
- A Hobby: We can no longer golf together due to my injury. We now plant flower gardens together. He’ll prepare the dirt. We both plant all kinds of flowers. We both will do the watering. It has been a fun hobby for us. Is there anything you 2 might like to do? It may be a painting class, glass fusion, book club. Frankly my husband would not do any of those ideas, but I don’t know your husband.
- DIY Project: Is there anything in your home or yard that you have wanted to change or fix-up? Working together on an area that you both have wanted to be new could be fun. If you need to have a contractor do the work, planning the idea can still be fun.
- The sport of the decade is PickleBall. Do you play? I see a lot of couples doing that.
- We do enjoy watching TV series together. We will talk about the time we are going to watch. We especially like westerns and mysteries. Right now that is our main togetherness activity. It doesn’t have to be a major activity. I enjoy the series because we have fun talking about it, who did it, when will the next one be on.
- Going out to dinner with friends. My hubby being an introvert can be difficult. We do have mutual friends that a dinner out is always good for us. We do this once a month.
- We don’t travel together often but we have had some great trips. Our best together trips were to Alaska, Galapagos, trips to the mountains for a week, and traveled all over in our rv. It’s possible to rent a small rv. That could be really fun.
I hope this helps. If this all fails, then try felting the lint out of your lint trap. You can make little animals.
P.S. My husband still picks up my shoes and puts them away without being mad at me. He’s done that for 27 years.
Love Mama J
