UPDATE 12-17-2024: Yellow No. 37 has reportedly been replaced by a younger, shinier pole, who sources say is already “looking over its shoulder” after witnessing two near-misses during installation.
In a shocking turn of events, Walmart has reportedly fired the lead plaintiff in the highly publicized class action lawsuit brought by parking poles against reckless drivers. The now-former spokesperson, a 4-foot yellow pole stationed at the Walmart on Wanamaker Road, has been “removed from duty,” according to sources close to the matter.
Walmart cited “ongoing performance issues” as the reason for the pole’s dismissal, claiming it “failed to fulfill its basic responsibilities of standing still and blending in.” Critics, however, suggest this is a retaliatory move to undermine the growing momentum of the lawsuit.
The pole, affectionately referred to as Yellow No. 37, was the face of the suit, which seeks reparations for what the poles call “years of structural abuse” at the hands of inattentive shoppers. Yellow No. 37 had been a vocal advocate for parking pole rights, frequently appearing in press statements and rallying fellow poles across the country to join the cause.
Walmart Responds
In a prepared statement, a Walmart spokesperson denied the allegations of retaliation:
“We value all members of our infrastructure equally. Walmart does not discriminate against poles that engage in legal action, and we remain committed to supporting the safe navigation of our parking lots. This dismissal was strictly performance-based.”
The statement has done little to quiet outrage among parking pole advocates, who are now calling for protests. “This is corporate interference at its worst,” said an attorney representing the poles. “Yellow No. 37 didn’t ask to be hit—over and over. Its firing sends a chilling message to all poles seeking justice.”
What’s Next for the Lawsuit?
While Yellow No. 37 has been forcibly retired, the class action suit will proceed with or without its participation. Sources indicate other poles are stepping up to lead the fight, including a battered Target pole from west Topeka and a particularly vocal gas station bollard near I-70.
Yellow No. 37, meanwhile, is rumored to be seeking employment elsewhere, possibly as a cone in a construction zone or a decorative light post. In an emotional farewell statement, it simply said:
“I may be down, but I’m not out. To all my fellow poles out there—stand tall. Justice will prevail.”
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